Bridging the divide
Lesson 20
Leave, but leave the bridge standing.
Key takeaways:
When you know you can leave, it's safer, more motivating, and easier to show up.
Use any exits available. Ideally, you have put these in place beforehand!
Remember: The tone makes the music.
In case of doubt, don't burn the bridge; it may be useful later - for you, for the other person, or for someone else.
Acknowledge that this was a tough conversation. Thank them for talking with you, and for anything else you are genuinely grateful for and that you want to highlight.
Regardless of how the conversation went, give yourself credit for stepping up.
If you did not get the result you hoped, remember that you planted a seed. If you want, you can water and fertilize that seed later (or maybe someone else will), and hopefully it will sprout when it's ready. This is a long-term project.
Practice suggestions:
With a friendly partner, practice different "flavors" of ending a friendly conversation.
Notice how the different "flavors" feel in your body, and how your voice sounds.
Ask your partner how the different "flavors" felt and sounded for them, and whether they had a preference.
Notice what might be useful for a more difficult conversation with a not-so-friendly person. Practice that with your friendly partner.
Copyright © 2023 Elisabeth Fisher · All Rights Reserved
