14: What is holding you back?

When you step up to a tough conversation, all sorts of "bad" things might happen. It is human and normal to worry about this.

You do not need to "just get over your fears" or "just get over yourself" to step up to a conversation.

Getting more motivated may make you more willing to step up, but you may "push yourself" by tensing or collapsing more, which is not useful. Also, simply being more motivated to step up does not prevent bad things from happening, and it doesn't make you more capable of dealing with those things.

By being more stable and calmer (through Power Sitting, Centering, Smiling Heart, and Shining), you become better able to deal with whatever you are afraid of, but you still have to deal with whatever you are afraid of!

Do you tense or collapse more when you are motivated?

What happens when you bring your body vertical and let your tongue, shoulders, chest, and belly hang loose? Do you feel less motivated or more? Is it more difficult to do something or easier?