13: The foundation

Talking about controversial topics is stressful. Under stress, we contract (tense or collapse) our posture, breathing, awareness, and movement. We experience that contraction as various "negative" emotions. This is not useful for having an open dialogue.

Through Power Sitting, Centering, Smiling Heart, and Shining, you can replace stress and negative emotions (at least to some extent) with a more useful foundation of being calm, open, kind, stable, alert, and powerful.

Replace the attitude of "knowing" with curiosity - a genuine desire to learn and understand.

Focus on two overarching goals: (1) keeping the channels of communication open and (2) cultivating a positive relationship.

Make it safe, motivating, and easy enough - for you and the other person - to keep talking and hanging out with each other, even when you disagree.

Use these algorithms at every stage of an interaction - before, during, and afterwards.

Applying these algorithms will not magically make someone understand you and agree with you, but: applying at least some of these algorithms, at least in part, and at least some of the time, will make it more likely that this can happen.