Bridging the divide
Lesson 12
Be part of the "pool" of people who can potentially influence each other.
Key takeaways:
What if you have a positive relationship with a person, but you simply cannot get through to them on a particular topic?
Continue to be interested in them as a person.
Highlight the things you have in common - including those completely unrelated to the topic in question.
Do NOT make your beliefs part of your identity or equate their beliefs with who they are. You are not your opinion, and they are not their opinion. You are both human beings who see things differently.
Take a long-term perspective: They may not be able to hear you today, or this month. Be patient, keep the channels of communication open, and continue to cultivate a positive relationship. Focus on building deeper connections, rather than on accomplishing your immediate "agenda". This makes your interactions less stressful and more pleasant and meaningful, and in the long run this approach takes less effort and is more effective for accomplishing your goals. Understanding may come later, based on the connection you built.
Consider: You are not the only one who can talk with them, and you may not be the right one to talk with them. They may not be able to hear you, but they may be able to hear someone else. By continuing to be a positive presence in their life, you preserve the possibility that they may hear you - or someone else - in the future, when they are ready.
What if you are unable to cultivate a positive relationship with someone?
Having absolutely nothing in common is rarer than you may think.
If you truly cannot find a point of connection or common ground, consider: They may not be the right person for you to talk with. Start a ripple effect elsewhere: Communicate with someone you can relate to more easily. Perhaps they (or someone they know) are the one meant to talk with the person you cannot reach.
There is a big pool of people who can potentially influence each other. Be part of that "influence pool" by cultivating positive relationships with whomever you can.
Practice suggestion:
Exercise your "commonality detector muscles": Once a day, pick a random person in your life or on TV or social media. Find something - anything - you have in common.
Copyright © 2023 Elisabeth Fisher · All Rights Reserved
