1: Start with your body – manufacturing a more useful foundation

A conversation begins when you first think of having it. From that moment on, you prepare.

Challenging conversations pose a potential threat to your wellbeing. Humans are designed to react to any danger - whether real or imagined - with fight, flight, freeze, or collapse (stress reactions).

Under stress, we generally contract (tense or collapse) our posture, breathing, attention, and movement. We become less smart and less kind, and we cannot think clearly or speak well. This is not a useful basis for having a challenging conversation.

In preparing for a challenging conversation, it is essential that you first create a useful foundation in your body - a state of calm alertness and compassionate power.

Stress is something you do in your body. When you are aware of what you are doing and when you are doing it, you can choose to do something different.