everydaYblackbelt
Criticism: attack or gift?
You decide.
PRE-RECORDED WORKSHOP SERIES
On the receiving end: Sometimes, criticism and advice are welcome and helpful - you take to heart what someone has to say, and you grow as a result. At other times, your critic or advice-giver means well but is not helping - you don't need or want their input, you didn't ask for it, but here it is, and now what? And sometimes you're too hurt, or too busy defending yourself, to see whether there might be a gift hidden behind the attack.
On the giving end: Providing negative feedback - even when it's true - can feel awful. You probably don't want to hurt anyone's feelings - at least not if you can help it. So, you try to soften the blow, or you rush just to get this over with quickly, and you stop short of saying what the other person really needs to hear. Or maybe the way you give clear and direct feedback hurts your relationships, and you don't know why that happens or how to change that.
And then there's that pesky voice inside your head: This one may be your loudest and meanest critic yet. And your most "effective" one, because it knows where to hit and really hurt you. And it's always with you and won't shut up. Maybe you don't need anyone else's feedback, because you've already said far worse things to yourself ...
Now the good news: It doesn't have to be this way.
This workshop series is for you if you want to
What you'll get:
Accept the gift, not the attack.
Give a gift, without an attack.
Be a gift to yourself, not an attacker.
For more than 30 years, I told myself that I am not athletic - because of criticism from a teacher that I had believed and internalized. Now I hold a Black Belt in Kenpo Karate, I am a certified Yoga teacher, and I participate in ballroom dance competitions ...
What participants have said about this workshop (names omitted to maintain participants' privacy):
Thank you for this. I am motivated to go back to all the exercises and make this an embodied practice.
G.
Meditation Teacher
I love your framework. It gives me a roadmap: okay, I'm here, these are my options, this is what I could do. Simply seeing that already created a big shift.
B.
Embodiment Coach
I now have a much gentler way to redirect myself when I fall into a self-critical storm.
F.
Writer
Course Content:
Part 1: Receiving criticism gracefully and confidently.
1: Welcome and introduction
How to use this video workshop.
2: What is criticism, and why can it be challenging?
Criticism = a potential threat. Distress reactions.
3: How do YOU receive criticism?
An embodiment exploration: What do you do when someone hands you an ugly box?
4: Creating a foundation for safety in your BODYmind.
Receiving criticism in a centered state instead of in a state of distress.
5: Creating a foundation for safety in your bodyMIND.
Don't assume the worst and treat your fears as though they were facts.
6: Being defensive is not an effective defense.
Don't "defend" yourself. Respond in a centered state and co-regulate.
7: Getting out of the way of an "attack".
When you are faced with a potentially dangerous situation, what are your options? First, learn how to get out of the way.
8: Verbal safety strategies.
Verbally getting out of the way of an "attack": taking a break and postponing or ending a conversation.
9: Choices.
Should you listen to this feedback or advice now, later, or not at all? If you are uncertain: prepare for the worst and create the best - make a risk management plan.
10: Processing criticism, feedback, and advice.
Should you care? Facts vs. opinions; objective assessments vs. subjective value judgments. More choices: Do you have to continue to listen, act on the advice, agree with it, or like it?
11: Dealing with unsolicited advice.
How could you receive unsolicited advice - or reject unwanted advice - gracefully and confidently?
Part 2: Giving honest and kind feedback that creates value.
12: Creating a foundation in your bodymind.
Safety: Don't be a threat or a victim; be a centered critic.
13: What is your intention?
Create value for the recipient.
14: Help them hear you.
Is this the time? Are you the one? What is the best way?
15: The Safety Sandwich - Reassure | Correct | Support.
Provide reassurance. Give feedback that is kind and honest and creates value. Offer support.
16: Permission.
Should you ask for permission to give feedback or advice? Should you provide input, even when it is not wanted?
Part 3: Calming your "inner critic".
17: The nature of self-criticism.
Self-criticism in the bodymind. Distress-based attempts to create safety.
18: The root of self-criticism.
Why are we mean to ourselves? Fear and our twice-distressed mindbody system.
19: Reassurance.
Reassure yourself physically and verbally. Acknowledge, specify, and reframe your fear.
20: Planning.
The gift behind your fear: a roadmap for your risk management plan.
21: Support and centered action.
What do you need (from yourself and from others) to be reassured and to act with compassion and power?
Your Instructor
Lisa Fisher
Hello! I'm Lisa Fisher.
As a former corporate attorney and mediator, I have been helping people have tough conversations at work and at home for over 30 years. I teach my clients how to stay calm and focused under stress, defuse tense situations, speak up with confidence, disagree respectfully, and deal with criticism in a way that feels better and hurts less.
I lead Embodied Peacemaking workshops based on the mindbody education system developed by Paul Linden. I am a certified embodiment coach and Yoga teacher (Yin, Vinyasa, Embodied Toolkit), martial artist (Black Belt in Kenpo Karate), Embodied Meditation teacher, practicing Buddhist, and ballroom dancer.
Let's create a more peaceful world together.
everydaYblackbelt
Mind-body training for more peaceful relationships.
Copyright © Elisabeth Fisher · All Rights Reserved
